Sorry
by Soldier's Girl 27
Summary: "Clare." I whisper softly, and she hesitates before turning around. I knew she would, and I guess that's why I feel guilty about this. I'm going to say sorry before anything goes down. Not because I really mean it. But because I know what I'm capable of.
1. Chapter 1

Sorry

"_Such an ugly world for something so beautiful."_

I'm sorry for loving you. You sit there biting your lip and just like that, you don't even know what you do to me. I try to fight the urge to kiss you, because in my eyes, you're just that beautiful. You listen to the soft echoes of the birds outside, and I can't help but wonder what you're thinking. I used to be able to tell. But that was a long time ago. I want to feel your head nestled against my neck, as your soft curls caress my face. You sit so calm and comfortably while I'm dangling on the edge of my seat, trying to reach out. Trying to touch you.

You walk out the room just as the bell rings. I watch you laughing and smiling with your friends. Your warm smile is so bright, it almost makes me smile. You used to smile like that for me. I feel a tug on my heart as your pink lips curl upward into a smirk. My smirk. I smiled at the thought. And I now knew why it hurt so much. You were just like me. I look at you as you glance my way. I want you to know that I think about you. If I didn't have this large white cast on my foot, then maybe I'd walk up to you and ask you how you are doing. In reality, I know I wouldn't do that. But, it's nice to dream.

I dream about us sometimes. And how we used to hold hands and make jokes. If only things could be that way again. If I hadn't tried to fix something that wasn't broken. But, don't get me wrong. We were already broken. The words that once held us together now tear us apart, leaving us shattered pieces of glass. I couldn't even put us back together again. So I just had to watch as the mess became bigger and the words got shorter. And the love got weaker. She was so close to me. So close to being mine again.

I could almost hear her soft voice calling my name like a sad song. _"Eli." _She spoke words that would melt my insides. I closed my eyes, wanting to be enfolded by the warmth of her voice. She slowly glided away from me. And when the sweet scent from her hair danced in my nostrils, I couldn't help myself but to follow her. And now I was standing there behind her, right where I wanted to be. My arm reached out to tap her shoulder, and when her soft skin rubbed up against mine, I knew there was no going back. Not now, not ever.

Don't hate me for this. "Clare." I whisper softly. I see her hesitate and then she turns around to face me. I knew she would. And that's the reason why I feel so guilty about this. I'm going to say sorry because it seems like the appropriate word choice for our predicament. So I'm going to say sorry before anything goes down. Not because I really mean it. But because I know what I'm capable of.

**Hey Guys! Please review and tell me what you think!.. Chapter 2 anyone**


	2. Naive

Naïve

"_How could this have been done by such a smiling sweetheart, oh and your sweet and pretty face."_

You stand just inches away from me and my arms ache. Longing to feel the warmth of your skin. Longing to hold you. My body slumps trying to hide from your powerful rays. You're feet are planted firmly on the ground and you look at me all calm and collected, while I'm burning fiercely on the inside. I can't believe that you're actually here. So close to me. So close to being my everything.

You look at me with that same beautiful, confused look that you always have on your face, and I couldn't ask for anything more. But then again, it scares me because you don't know what I'm going to say. And it gives me so many opportunities to screw up. "Clare, can we talk?" I question, already knowing your answer. You turn away in defeat and begin walking away. "I think about you every second of the day." "These feelings just don't go away overnight." I whimpered sadly. "We can't do this again." You state weakly. "I know what I did was stupid, but I love you." I cried.

You stand there thinking. I wanted a smile or a nod or something. But all I got was your perfect blue eyes staring up at me. "Please Clare." I beg to you. "It'll be different this time." I look at you and I see a little glint in your eye. I want to believe that little spark is a sign, but I'm not so sure. I think we both knew from the beginning of, that this wouldn't be a happy ending. But, we both didn't want to believe it. We didn't want to believe that it was real. You bite your lip and I try to stop myself from staring. You're so beautiful and you don't even know it. And then I see something that I haven't seen in a while.

Your beautiful blue eyes light up and all of this finally starts to seem worth it. "I love you too." You answer back. Those four words never sounded so sweet coming from your soft, plump lips. You wrap your arms around me and I hold what is left of you. You hold me a little tighter and I can't help but get high off of the feeling. Your curly auburn hair, your vibrant blue eyes, and your angelic face. They're all mine. And there's nothing you can do about it. Not anymore.

And just like that you make me sorry for things I haven't even done. Not because you mean to, but because we both know that I'm not good enough for you. Not good enough to be yours. And every time you let me back into your life, you remind me even more about how capable I am of destroying you.

**Hey Guys! Thanks for all the great reviews for the last chapter! I just did a double update, I'm on a roll! Please review and tell me what you think. Chapter 3 anyone:?**


	3. Perfect

Perfect

"_I'm not saying it's your fault, although you could've done more."_

You spin circles around me, your hair dancing in the wind with the bright sparkler in your hand. Am I dreaming? What did I do to be graced by such an angel? There's so much going on around me, but my attention focuses right back to your intriguing blue eyes. You laugh and I can't help but laugh, even though there's nothing funny. It's moments like these when I wish I could be better. When I wish I could give you more.

You bump into a tall, good looking teen and your large smile gets even bigger. "Jake!" You scream excitedly and I remember when you used to sound that excited for me. I instantly spring up, limping with my huge, white cast. My arm sneaks around your waist and you give me a gentle squeeze, trying to let me know that it's okay. But it's not okay. You're mine and there's no changing my mind. It's too late for that. "Well you've sure grown up." He says and I resist the urge to punch him.

He just got here and he's already starting to steal you away. I've lost half my mind trying to figure you out. I deserve you. And I can't help but wonder. All this time, was life worth living without you? You stand there and I desperately just want to kiss you so hard that you'll forget about him. That you'll forget about what I put you through.

I excuse myself rudely and walk back to Morty. I can't believe it. I got you back just to lose you again. You're my everything. But that's not enough anymore. Your beautiful laugh is almost as warm as the blazing fire, and it makes me want to take you somewhere just for us and hold you while I can. You follow after me worriedly. But I don't want your sympathy.

"What the hell was that?" You question angrily. "I could ask you the same thing." I say to you and your blue eyes get softer and I can tell that you know what I mean. "He's just a friend." You drag out as something in your voice tells me that I'm not the only one who needs convincing. I look at you and you can tell that I don't believe you. "You're getting all worked up over nothing." You state back. You lean in to kiss me, your plump lips dancing with mine. "I love you Eli." You whisper against my neck. I inhale your sweet scent as your hair tickles the skin on my chin. And when your body is close to mine; I get so close to snatching your everything away.

**Hey Guys! I forgot to mention that the quotes in the beginning of the chapters are from the song Naïve by the Kooks. They are a great band. So please check them out!. Thanks so much for all the great reviews! :) Please review and tell me what you think! Anyone up for another chapter?**


	4. Harmless

Harmless

"_I may say it's your fault, because I know you could've done more."_

You lay there so innocent and unaware as my heart rate picks up, trying to match your heavy breathing. Your curls are messy and your face is slightly scrunched up and I can't help but feel so guilty. You're all I've ever wanted and I can't even pretend like this is your fault. Your arm squeezes my waist tighter and I can't believe that you're actually with me. That you're actually mine. My fingers trail up and down your soft skin, and I can't even begin to describe the feeling. You intoxicate me. And you can't do anything about it.

Your phone vibrates violently on the nightstand. Your long, silky arm reaches out to hit the ignore button. "Who is it?" I question as your blue eyes sprout open. "No one." You dismiss. And then your eyes meet mine for a split second and you don't even have to say anything. Anger bubbles up inside of me. You lean in to kiss me and your lips move rhythmically with mine. You pull away as you smile your wide, toothy grin and I fake a smile back, because it's just that easy. You get up and pull on those jeans that fit you so well as you make your way out the door. "Go back to sleep." You whisper.

And I do. You have me wrapped around your finger, and you don't even know it yet. I get up to make breakfast and just as I'm on my last bite, you arrive through the door. Your small arms wrap around my waist and I can't help but notice that your sugary scent is blocked by a heavy masculine smell. "Why do you smell like cologne?" I ask angrily. "Oh, I just went to see Jake and he hugged me." You respond back nonchalantly. "Why didn't you tell me?" I scream angrily, as my mind blurs with the realization of you and him.

"Because I knew you'd act like this!" "When you don't tell me you're going to see some guy, it makes me seem like you have something to hide!" Your blue eyes flood with rage. "You don't trust me, even though you're the one who got into a knife fight at a school dance!" "Who really needs to be trusted?" And then I feel a little tug on my heart that reminds me of how much it hurts. For someone so perfect to know that I screwed up. My eyes burn ugly, dark holes into your perfect face. "Eli." You say quietly, your soft voice turning into a harsh whisper.

You wrap your fingers around my hand and I push them away. I walk away from you, up the stairs and into my bedroom. You follow as you climb in the bed, facing me. Your sniffles echo throughout the room. I pull your body harshly into mine as your blue oceans spill into my shirt. Your small sounds die out and you become very still and quiet. You shift slightly in your sleep as the bright moonlight from the window hits the side of your face. I lean in close to you, as your warm breath radiates over me. Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?

**Hey Guys! Sorry for not updating sooner! Please review and tell me what you think! Anyone up for another chapter? :)**


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